Luke 2

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

northern lights

northern lights, originally uploaded by faded.memories..

late night musings

It took us 11 hours to make the 5.5 hour trip. There was snow, freezing rain and ice. It was dark. We sat in traffic for 3 hours, at a dead stand still, no less. It was miserable. The worst conditions I have ever driven in. we arrived safely, though. What was the cause of this trip? Backpacking. Backpacking in sub freezing temperatures. walking up mountains through the ice and snow on the ground. Over emphasizing routine movements solely for the purpose of warmth. Quickening your pace so that your feet move faster and bend more all in an attempt to try to get the blood flowing through them again.

Looking back my emotions are quite unclear. It seemed crazy at the time. ‘what are we doing?’, ‘we are going to freeze’, ‘this can’t be worth it’. These thoughts running through my mind, yet I had a smile on my face. I was loving every minute. Because on this sacred trail, the AT, it is almost impossible not to have a good time, regardless the circumstances.

The things we will do for the loves of our lives. I’m sure I would have been miserable if I was doing almost anything else, but I was backpacking. I was in my element. I feel this is the case with most things in life. It’s all about perspective. Perception.

I scold myself for not being more content in other areas of my life as I am when I am in the great outdoors. Because the truth is, I am happiest when I am walking in the middle of nowhere with everything I need strapped to my back.

Why then do I ‘need’ so much in other areas of loves in my life? My love of my DVD collection is something that I cherish and is something that I pride myself on because of its breadth and relevance to film culture. My love of my music collection, the same. I feel ashamed of them at times, though. I try to convince myself that these are relevant to my development as a designer and as a patron of the arts. That they teach me something greater about myself and about humanity that I may one day use to reach this society that I watch and learn about. Do I need these 1,000’s of dollars worth of DVD’s and CD’s to do this when I feel I can gain the same from the outdoors, which is free?

I also surround myself with books, with knowledge. I tend to start 2 or 3 books at the same time, losing myself in them. Absorbing all that I can from their pages to be better prepared. To be more knowledgeable of the classics and of modern literature and journalism.

Is this real? I almost feel that I try to live vicariously through different media, ignoring the real issues in my own life. It is too easy for me to get wrapped up in a story than have to deal with the feelings and issues that are pressing on me. To ignore them, to make them go away. Hoping they will be taken care of as I am far off in another world.

And it is in this world that things become blurred. The reality of everything that is my life seems to become intertwined with what is not real. The decisions that I make in the real world seem to have little consequence sometimes because I feel that they are not real.

I know this is not the case, though. My dualism saddens me. I know that everything I am living and the choices I am making do have an impact on something greater than the realization of their insignificance. My awareness of the world is great. My travels have revealed this to me. Why do I not live it then? Why are my convictions not stronger? I don’t know I can answer that. Except attributing it to the fact that I do not believe it is true.

My mindset is contradictory to these to these statements, though. I am an idealist. And I have a vivid imagination concerning the way things should be. But, I know things will never live up to the picture I have created. Especially if i just sit back and wish them into existence as I am off in another world.

I do not feel these things are necessarily bad, though. it is only in their mutual exclusion that they become dangerous. i strive to reach that place where the two intersect. Where the two become one. Where there is no longer a distinction between my perceptions of actions as being inconsequential. Everything is influencing everything else. There is nothing that is not real. Learn to live real. Learn to live truth.

once upon a cold night

IMG_2726.JPG, originally uploaded by faded.memories..

thoughts from a construction worker

With the coming of the new week (which is already over) saw a return to working my construction job. Back to building houses. Many, many thoughts come to mind when I think about this:

Part I: Routine

This word initially enters into my thoughts. Now. Let me preface this by acknowledging that, yes, we all have our routines. But…
But… some activities, more than others, accentuate these routines. And I don’t know that any activity I’ve ever participated in has accentuated a more particular routine than working a construction job. I think it’s simply that I’m more aware of my surroundings. Which surprises me… that one becomes more aware of one’s surrounding before the sun rises in the a.m. regardless of this fact, I feel things are more pronounced. I take utmost care, and exercise the most adept precision into the preparation leading up to my departure for the day. My coffee is ground and measured and the timer is set all the night before. So that when I wake up throw on my work clothes my mug, thermos and lunch pale are close at hand. Then there is the drive. So cold that my heater never actually blows hot air before I get to work. Maybe a good thing that I already have my coat, hat, and gloves on by the time I get to work. The morning light. Everything is so crisp and clear on frigid winter mornings (considering I don’t fog up the window with my warm breath). Driving through the valley on the way to the site is a great preface to the day, no matter how warm my bed was, or how hard it was to get up, it is definitely worth it. There is a calmness/peacefulness about it that is hard to describe.

Part II: The Work

Manual labor. It is definitely something in and of itself. “The body fuels the mind” (A River Runs Through It). I find this statement to be quite true. While putting countless nails into 2x4’s, 2x6’s, roof trusses, floor joists, hurricane straps, etc. my mind seems to be racing. Amidst all the mindless chit-chat, if you will, that goes on at construction sites it is a wonder any constructive thought is born, yet it seems to be just so. I often enjoy getting to work on parts of the house where I am working by myself. Just me and the task at hand. It allows me to take in my surroundings, to look objectively at the work I am performing, and immediately dismiss any notions that this is in fact simply routine. Everything is building up to something…

I am building, constructing, creating something, for someone. This will be someone’s ‘home’ in the near future. This is where their life will happen. Where their marriage will begin, where their kids will be raised, where they will associate with something familiar. ‘Home is where the heart is’ though, right? Yes, but memories also constitute a state of the heart. And their memories will be made here, right here under these trusses that we are setting.

Part III: My Crew

To say that construction workers are a different breed may be an understatement, but it is with these guys that I am living my life, and I am therefore one of them. And it is with these guys that I love working.

If you want to live in community, go build a house with someone. You have to learn how to communicate, how to trust, and how to work together towards a common goal no matter what your differences are and no matter how hard it is to get along with someone. We also have fun, though. I laugh a lot at work. Oh yeah, you also have to have a sense of humor. And you must be willing to take ridicule. Because you will make mistakes while building a house, and you will be the butt of the joke until you die… construction workers never forget these stories. They are told over and over and over, and they are laughed at every time. But don’t be mistaken, these guys would do anything for each other. Because we are a team, a crew.

Part IV: Conclusion

What does all this mean? I don’t quite know that I am sure. It probably references some greater analogy or metaphor. Maybe it speaks of Hebrews 11:10. “For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God”. Maybe it resonates within me for this reason: that I am His creation. Made in His image, and made to take joy in the craft of creating something, building something bigger than myself. Laying the foundations for what is ahead.

I do not try to fool myself, and pretend to know why I love working construction. No person in their right mind would. I only joy in the fact that He has blessed me with the ability to do it. That He has given me something I am good at, that I may use for the benefit of others…

For the benefit of others. To touch someone else’s life.

the simple things

It’s 6:30…. am. It’s still dark. Driving to work the first flakes start falling. You arrive. Work is cancelled. The sun rises but is masked by the thick gray clouds. They begin to release more and more flakes. The coffee in your thermos is still hot, so you top off your mug for the drive home. Now you can take your time getting back home and enjoy the ride. At home you have the whole morning to relax and work on some of your small projects you have going on. I can’t help but keep looking out the window when I pass one. I’m not sure there is anything that makes me happier than seeing frozen water fall from the sky. The beauty and purity of a fresh blanket of snow is enough to fill me with joy.

That is until I was running some errands and locked my keys in the car. Then I was just mad. It would be different if I didn’t do it like every month. So, I stand out in the snow with a coat hanger, till I can’t feel my hands, trying to get it open. But, to now avail. I go back inside the office, and luckily my day gets better, before it got worse. one of my coworkers volunteers that she has Triple-A. Saved. The proverbial sun begins to shine again and am off to enjoy the beauty of the snow. So refreshing.

Coming home, you walk down the sidewalk looking back at your tracks, feeling the snow light on your hair. The cool air is invigorating. And when you walk into your apartment, your roommate has already found the Christmas station on the radio. It is almost too beautiful to put into words.

I will let you experience it for yourself.